When We Use Up Our Will Power to Surge Forward

It is always the same thing all the time. It is the same pattern; the same waves.

We wonder why it seems as though some things change yet they remain the same. Why it seems like nothing is happening yet when we look over our shoulders, we are amazed at how different everything turns out to be.

We stare too long at the image in the mirror, wondering who the person looking right back is, and hoping we break through, reach out to this person and perhaps get the answers we’ve been looking for. What do we even look for?

We wonder which is real? The person in the mirror, or the person thinking that they are thinking these thoughts?

We want to be the best person all the time. We want to be the superhero that not every child sees the person in their life as, but life is a lie now, is it not?

We keep surging ahead yet the same forces that have always been in opposition with nature seem to want to pull us back each time, and as hard as we try, we can only make one step after another faltering step and hope we do not fall.

In front of us are walls; walls that we have built over time as time goes.

We create the misfortune around us, and we hope to get ourselves out of these tragedies because when it comes to those forces we have called ‘unknown’, we become helpless.

Those unknown forces that we have pulled ourselves into by falling helplessly in overwhelming situations,

by slumping faceless in the mud of our shadows, and by plunging deeper and deeper into the dark of our souls.

Each day, the walls we have built, overwhelm us and we pray that these walls do not swallow us up.

We pray that even if these struggles crush us, let us at least see a little light.

Yet, what can we do?

Did we not come to be without consultation of any kind?

Would it have made any difference if we were called upon before we came to be?

If we were consulted, would we have bargained with the creating creator how we would have wanted our lives to be?

Would we have asked for absolute freedom?

Would all things that we talk about still matter if we knew what we were here for?

Would we still be open to exploring life?

What does it even matter? Try as hard as we want, life is still what it is.

And try as hard as we want to stop trying to figure out our purpose here on earth, we cannot help but continue trying.

We do not stop because it is not our nature to. The creator did it right after all. We are spirits.

And even when we use up our willpower to surge forward, spirits do not die.

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